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oh this is not a religious blog. it’s not connected with Noah’s ark.  and it has absolutely no relation to the book of Genesis in the Bible..

 in fact, this is all about my husband leaving and my trip from Manila a few days ago, on what happened just before the bus started for la Union.  this is, in fact, about me and erick and that @#*!#*_!!! bus called Genesis that took 8 hours to travel from Manila to La Union!!! (grrrrrr!)

anyway, i thought i had prepared myself for THE DAY when Erick would kiss me goodbye for another contract to work abroad, aboard another ship.  in fact, when he told me a few weeks ago that his flight would be November 18 or 19, i bravely looked him in the eye and answered, “okay honey!”. 

geez, who was i kidding!  the moment i said those words, tears started welling in my eyes and i had to swallow some good dose of my saliva to keep from crying out loud. 

i knew i had to be strong, I GOT TO be strong for Erick’s sake.  leaving us was already hard enough for him, but leaving his wife crying, err, (okay okay!!  wrong word) wailing like a lunatic would even be harder (and so much more embarrassing!).  if i didn’t want him to go out there with a heavy and distracted heart, i had to compose myself and act like a real lady, graceful and calm.  (sigh)

BUT who am i kidding? 

“baket,” erick would often patiently, though smugly, tell me, “am-ammo kan.  pati pasikot-sikot ta bitukam, ammok pay yen.” (wife, i know you well, so much so that even every curve, nook and cranny and zigzag of your intestines, i am already familiar with).

anyway, the trick (i told myself) would be to focus on the positive side.  like not having to worry if our son, enrickquito, who happens to have a bottomless stomach (he sometimes eats more than i do!) will have milk, diaper, fruits, good and nutritious solid foods next month or not.  that should be my focus!  if erick would have work, money wont be a problem anymore.  his son and i would be able to live very comfortably for the next months.  (yesssss!)

but that style didn’t work well.  as the day of erick’s departure loomed closer, i began to tell myself, “i’d choose his presence, no matter how grumpy and hot-tempered he would be, over monetary security.”  thus, i began to sniffle a cry or two again.  to hell with food!  enrickquito isn’t a picky eater, as long as there is sabaw (soup) and rice, our son would happily open his mouth and welcome whatever would be on the spoon.  he even likes saluyot, malunggay and ampalaya (which i detest)!  so food won’t be a problem.  there are so many vegetables growing all over the place.  really, we wont go hungry.

why not try another trick in the book?  ignore the facts!  don’t think about his leaving.  just pretend he would still be with us come NOvember 18 or 19 and the following days after that!  in fact, fool myself into believing he would stay. 

well, i did, um, fool myself.   for 5 minutes!  (ha ha ha!).  the things he would be bringing with him aboard the ship were strewn everywhere our home!  even our one-year old son was aware his daddy would be leaving.  it was THAT obvious!  so no, turning blind eyes and deaf ears to his departure won’t work.

then i thought, “hmmmm, i could focus on the things i hated about my husband.”  yes, that would work.  only, i’d ruin our last remaining days together by detesting him.  and that, i think, would be worse than our separation.  only a total jerk would be that immature!

since there was really no other way to treat erick’s leaving except completely accepting HE WOULD BE LEAVING, i did just that.  and it turned out, it was the best remedy of all.  so what if while washing the dishes, i was crying?  or if i’d happen to glance at erick playing with enrickquito, i’d get teary-eyed?  we still had a good stock of tissues!  i wouldn’t be able to use them all (and if i did, there was still those blessed old notebooks and books and newspapers!  ha ha ha!).  besides, when i get teary-eyed, i could crawl on erick’s lap to let him hold me tight..

“Uh, baket, haan ak maka anges, nagdagsen ka!” (uh, wife, i couldn’t breathe, you weigh a ton!)

anyway, that was how i psyched myself up the previous week. and things got better because they went back to normal after the idea of erick’s departure finally sank in my system.

then came November 18.  a few minutes before i was to go back to La Union and he to the airport, my poise shattered.

“tang, tang,” came the text message tone alert of my cellphone (which, by the way, irritates my husband like hell!).

“get ready honey, im on my way to the hotel to bring you to the bus terminal.” 

uh-oh, my heart started doing some heavy palpitating because it suddenly felt like the whole hotel came down on it. i tried to ignore the loneliness that had suddenly gripped me.  i should not cry!!! 

when erick entered our room, he pulled me in his arms.  “this is it,” i told myself, ”this is goodbye“.  as our bodies pressed together for the longest (and yet it ended too soon) embrace, his smell flooded my senses. 

“shhhh, dont cry honey,” erick said, “i’ll be back.”

then we were suddenly walking out of the hotel to the bus terminal where that blasted bus was waiting.  while walking, i did not hold his hand nor did not let him hold mine.  maybe to those people we passed by the dirty sidewalks of Pasay City, erick and i looked like strangers to each other.  i was that stubborn because i was that intent not to cry!  if my husband so much as touched my hand, my eyes would become like faulty faucet, unstoppable from leaking!  and to my shame, my mind started focusing on those things that i hated about erick (talk about maturity eh?).  i stooped that low.

 but cheers for erick.  he totally understood, and it was so achingly sweet of him.  “sorry baket for those times i hurt your feelings and made you cry.  forgive me hon“, he whispered as he held me tight inside the bus.  and that did it. 

HELLO FAULTY FAUCET!!  big fat salty tears came pouring out of my eyes, along with the sticky salty gooey thing from my nose.  once i started crying, there was no stopping it. 

“baket, mangibabain ka! (wife, you’re embarrassing!),” joked my husband, as i couldn’t even speak coherrently.  all i could say, err, squeaked was, “honey, honey, honey“.  (it really was embarrassing, and we were inside the bus, with the other passengers looking at us, err, me.)

“i gotta go hon, they are waiting for me at the office.”   erick said.

“please take good care of yourself and of enrickquito.  i love you both so much and i will miss you, it hurts.  bye hon..”

 he kissed me one last time, then he left.  and he left me sobbing like i would inhale the whole bus in my nose!  tsk..

november 18.  yeah, that was the day i flooded Genesis.